The FAA released great news for travelers. Beginning this Wednesday, crying babies or children that appear irritable will no longer be allowed to board.
"We have counseled with Homeland Security and in an effort to accommodate the crew and our passenger's sanity, your screaming toddler will be held back with the TSA if he or she is showing any signs of crankiness," FAA Chief, Randy Babbitt told reporters. Later adding, "should thewish to leave their child behind, the airlines have agreed to pay cab fare to a local foster home until the parents return."
Regular business traveler Jim Schmoyer said, "This is going to be great! It's bad enough flying, let alone sitting next to a crying baby. It's about time someone stood up for the grown ups."
The TSA's litmus test will be a bulletin board of humorous and cute items which they will show the child. Should the child laugh or at least show signs of apathy, they will be allowed to board. Any scowl, brow furrowing, or crying will result in a missed flight.