Nostradamas was highly criticized for naming his newborn son Nostra-dumbass, however within 17 years his early prediction was accurate.
At age 2 Nostra-dumbass shoved food in his nostrils, attempting to suck down his meals through his nose. He never fully grasped the concept of eating or table manners.
At age 6 Nostra-dumbass loses sight in his right eye after accidentally stabbing himself with a fork.
At age 10 Nostra-dumbass said his first full sentence,
"I soiled my knickers. He followed by saying, "My hand toes look different than my feet toes."
At age 12 Nostra-dumbass was kicked out of school for pooping in the urinals and biting his teacher.
At age 17 Nostra-dumbass jumped to his death from a 4 story building holding a bed sheet yelling, "Look daddy I can fly. Aren't you pr..."
Nostradamus had this revelation two years prior, but kept the news to himself. Nostradamus wrote about this event in his journal:
"The idiot will plunge from the sky attempting to defeat gravity while his disappointed father shakes his head in disgust."
How to prepare for the 2012 Apocalypse