Funny Craigslist Ad #101-Thanksgiving Companion Needed

Date: 2012-10-26, 7:41PM EDT
Reply to: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In need of a single female to pretend to be my fiance this Thanksgiving. You must convince my family that we are engaged.  I told them you are dolphin trainer at the Baltimore aquarium and we met at one of your shows. There are going to be a TON of marine related questions so do your homework.  I told my parent's you have a lisp (which you are sensitive about) and that you grew up in a foster home because your parents were meth dealers. Reply back with "Dolphin Lisperer" in subject line so I know you are legit. Willing to pay $500 plus turkey dinner and possibly some leftovers.

Funny Craigslist Ad #102-Webinar Prankster Needed

Date: 2011-12-8, 6:08PM EDT
Reply to: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My department is having this HUGE nationwide conference call on Wednesday and I need a prank monkey to dial in and yell, "This company is run by a bunch of idiots!" Tell them your name is Mark Dunbar. Thanks a bunch! Send me a response so we can rehearse and I can give you the dial in numbers. Willing to pay $25.  

Recently unemployed man breaks out the old juggling balls

Unemployed line foreman Zach Durkin recalls the night he was let go from his job, he entered his apartment and fired a set of keys at his corner bookshelf in frustration, knocking down his juggling balls.

"That was my sign," he said as he began juggling.  "This is really the only thing in life that I am really passionate about.  I mean...now I can really get an opportunity to practice and try to earn a living with my gift."

Durkin intends to try out for America's Got Talent in the spring and also plans on incorporating some additional items to his act including bowling pins, chain saws and even mice.

"If I can get the funds together I plan on juggling 3 or 4 mice while I stand in a ring with hungry pythons below.  That added element of suspense should really impress the judges.  I would love to make some costumes for the mice if I can scrape together the money," Durkin tells me while finally taking a break.

Durkin plans on asking his brother to invest in this idea so he can purchase costumes, bowling pins, about a baker's dozen of mice and four pythons.

###